1. Soon-To-Be-Former Pope Excommunicates All Mafiosi From The Catholic Church
Pope Francis yesterday issued a condemnation against all members of the mafia, stating that such criminals "are not in communion with God. They are excommunicated." He was a pretty cool Pope while he lasted, wasn't he?
BREAKING: Pope excommunicates Italian mafia, wakes up to find altar boy's head in bed.— Warren Holstein (@WarrenHolstein) June 22, 2014
2. Hank Paulson Uses His Vast Knowledge Of Crashing World Economies To Explain Climate Change
Writing for the New York Times op-ed page, former U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson—on whom many people place a great deal of blame for the economic crash of the late-aughts—decided to draw comparisons between massive economic ruin and massive environmental ruin. "Looking back at the dark days of the financial crisis in 2008, it is easy to see the similarities between the financial crisis and the climate challenge we now face." Honorable as his intentions may be, it appears that Congress is dead-set on following the same head-in-the-sand approach that worked so well for us all six years ago, as Jon Stewart points out here:
"If climate change is real then why are gays trying to take my guns?" - FOX News anchor having a seizure— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) June 18, 2014