1. Supreme Court Votes To Protect Deeply-Held Religious Convictions Of Corporations

The Supreme Court ruled today in favor of Hobby Lobby, deciding that the Obamacare mandate cannot force closely held corporations to provide birth control to female employees if the businesses hold religious convictions against paying for a bunch of sinful junk for those sexed-up hussies.

2. Facebook Researcher Apologizes For Controversial Research, Had No Idea People Would Not Want To Get Jerked Around By A Website

The co-author of a recent research project conducted on Facebook—in which posts that were seen in people's news feeds were chosen in a specific attempt to manipulate their moods—has apologized for his actions. "I can understand why some people have concerns about it, and my coauthors and I are very sorry for the way the paper described the research and any anxiety it caused," the data scientist lamented. How does his sorrowful apology make you feel, though? On a scale from 1 to 5, with 1 being "very happy" and 5 being "very sad."