1. Ethnically-Diverse Young Voters Oddly Unwilling To Affiliate Themselves With Political Party For Old Straight White Dudes

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According to a new Gallup report, 18-to-29-year-old voters—who are increasingly racially diverse—are more likely to identify as Democrats than at any time in the recent past, with 54% to the 36% who identify as Republicans. Top Republicans in finely decorated wood-paneled smoking rooms are emphatically harrumphing at the news.


2. NASA Wants Your Help Choosing Which Ridiculous-Looking Space Suit They're Going To Waste Their Money On Next

NASA is asking the citizenry to vote on and help it choose from three equally weird-looking outer shell designs for its new Z-2 technologically enhanced space suit that will never be put to use due to budget cuts and decreased public interest in any kind of science that can't fit inside a smartphone.

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