1. Facebook Takes Away Your Ability To Hide From The Assholes Of The World
All of the ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, unrequited admirers, borderline-psychopathic stalkers and Tea-Party-talking-point-forwarding uncles of the world will soon be able to find your Facebook page with a simple name search, as the social network is removing users' choice of whether they're findable by every weirdo or only friends.
2. Lesus Christ! The Vatican Can't Even Spell The Name Of Its Lord And Savior
The Vatican misspelled the name "Jesus" as "Lesus" on 6,000 gold, silver and bronze medals created by the Italian State Mint to commemorate the papacy of Pope Francis. And, just like that, five-hundred million smacks on the hands of Catholic school kids were rendered worthless.
When the smoke coming out of the Vatican is dark blue, it means the pope just got some tail.— Big Tits Will Weldon (@oldmanweldon) June 27, 2013
3. GOP Proposes Plan To Put Off Collapsing The Economic For A Few Weeks
Republican House leaders are now suggesting the possibility of a short-term debt limit increase that will hold off the complete economic implosion of the United States until maybe sometime in November when things start feeling a bit more festive and Great Depressiony.