1. Government Shutdown Beards Are A Thing That Is Happening
Being out of of job while while our elected representatives work out their dysfunction seems as good a reason as any to grow a lazy-guy beard and post pictures of it on the Internet for people to gawk at. Thus the rise of the #shutdownbeard hashtag on Twitter, as federal workers with too much time on their hands and little reason to not look creepy strive for solidarity.
2. That Guy Who Used To Host "Monday Night Football" Slept With The Wife Of That Guy Who Used To Host "The Tonight Show," And It Made Him Cry
An upcoming biography of Johnny Carson — written by his lawyer, because, okay, why not? — relays the story of the night that the legendary Tonight Show host, carrying a .38 revolver, broke into an apartment his wife Joanne Copeland had started renting without his knowledge and found several framed photographs of then-Monday Night Football announcer Frank Gifford, with whom she was having an affair. Carson then proceeded to cry, go out and get shitfaced drunk and go home with a female celebrity who was "as nearly as famous" as he was. Johnny Carson: still the king of late night.