1. Despite Shutdown, Federal Government Still Doing Essential Things Like Buying Mechanical Bulls
Now midway through its second week, the government shutdown has left the families of U.S. soldiers killed in combat unable to pay for funerals, which is a shame. Literally, a shame. And yet, Congress has made sure that the really essential functions of government continue. Like the purchase of a $47K mechanical bull for the Utah National Guard. Because we can't really expect them to continue doing their important guarding of the nation without getting to play Urban Cowboy in their downtime, can we?
Maybe some of those super successful democracies we installed in Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. can come help us resolve this shutdown.— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) October 8, 2013
2. Guy Who Staged His Own Kidnapping To Get Away From His Wife Will Get Plenty Of Alone Time In Jail
A Texas man recently convinced two of his friends to put on masks, break into his house and kidnap him at gunpoint — which is definitely a thing that happens all the time — so that he could "spend time with his friends and party" without his wife getting mad. Rogelio Andaverde returned home two days later, with the not-at-all-suspicious story of how his kidnappers had a change of heart and decided to let the guy whom they kidnapped for no reason go for no reason. Despite the flawlessness of his alibi, he was ultimately arrested and charged with misdemeanor false report to a police officer.