1. Prostate Cancer Foundation Doesn't Even Want To Touch Redditors' Disgusting Pile Of Jackoff Money

For a brief period earlier this week, the highest-ranked donation group on the Prostate Cancer Foundation's website was something called Reddit The Fappening. In case you're blissfully unaware, that's a bunch dudes who were directed to the charity website from reddit's r/thefappening page, which catalogues the recent crop of illicitly procured celebrity nude photos. The idea was to alleviate their own guilt by giving to a worthy cause, but to do so in the skeeviest way possible. (Bear in mind that they were always welcome to donate as individuals, but wanted to do it in a manner that would draw attention to the phenomenon.) The PCF has now wisely decided to refund all the money and keep its own hands clean (so to speak).

2. Apple Clears Apple Of Any Fault In iCloud-Hacked Nude Celebrity Photo Scandal

After tens of minutes of carefully inspecting the facts—and averting its eyes from demonstrable evidence to the contrary—Apple has declared that there are no security flaws in its iCloud service that could possibly have led to a bunch of celebrities having personal photos stolen from their accounts. This must come as such a relief to the company.