1. Kanye West Bravely Defends The Honor Of All The Kanye Wests Of The World

Hip-hop artist Kanye West was apparently so upset by Jay Pharoah's playful impersonation of him at the MTV Video Music Awards that he contacted the comedian to warn him against making light of serious matters, such as Kanye West. "We ain't gonna have no black comedians going up (on) stage spoofing the people that's working hard to open doors not only for black people, but (for) any creators, anybody that wants to add a contribution to the world," he admitted to having told him. [Ed note: This is where a punchline would normally go, but out of respect for Kanye West, we've decoded to forgo one.]

2. Dwayne Johnson Confirms He'll Be Playing Some Comic Book Character You've Never Heard Of

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson took to Twitter to excitedly inform fans that he will be playing a guy who is not Shazam in the upcoming film based on DC comic series Shazam. Instead, Johnson will be playing Black Adam, a supervillain you've probably never heard of, but who apparently is kind of cool and gets to wear a less dorky looking suit.