1. Anthony Weiner Gets In Shouting Match With Random Dude Over Stupid Nonsense, Proving He's Just Like Every Other New Yorker

New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner got into a loud and childish argument in a Brooklyn bakery with some Jewish guy who called him a "scumbag" yesterday, just like a large percentage of the city's other residents. For those voters, and others who instead screamed expletives at an Italian grandmothers after she flipped them off or got into a fistfight with an Iraqi transexual who stole their taxi, this incident should help to make him more approachable after the recent news of his sexting addiction, something he also shares with a large percentage of the city's other residents.

2. Apparently Not Satisfied With All The Undeserved Attention She Already Receives, Miley Cyrus Tweets About Calling A Paparazzi A "C--t"

In an effort to either stave off a potential scandal, or more likely to create one, pop singer Miley Cyrus admitted to her 13.6 million Twitter followers last night that she "Just called this paparazzi a CUNT." If you are not sufficiently scandalized by this news, please wait approximately 16 hours, and she'll have something else to offer you.