1. U.S. Air Force Refuses To Re-Hire Soldier Who Won't Pledge Loyalty To Its Sky Deity 


A soldier at Creech Air Force Base in Nevada has been denied reenlistment after he refused to include the words "so help me God" from his official service oath, thus infringing upon the Air Force's constitutional right to not have to deal with a bunch of dirty, immoral atheist traitors.

2. Bill Murray Is Hoping For The Same New Ghostbusters That We All Are

Though Bill Murray has no intention of returning to the Ghostbusters franchise, he told an interviewer whom he would like to see suit up for the upcoming all-female paranormal exterminating team: "Melissa would be a spectacular Ghostbuster. And Kristen Wiig is so funny — God, she’s funny! I like this girl Linda Cardellini a lot. And Emma Stone is funny. There are some funny girls out there."

3. The World Will Finally Get The 'Top Gun' Sequel It Has Been Pining For Lo These Many Years