Tom's mental image of himself. (via)

Pity Tom, the finance guy. All he wanted was to meet a nice gal on Tinder and cook her a meal. Which, in the high-stakes, big-money world that Tom inhabits, means sticking his dick in her mouth. And what does Tom, a guy who "made 32k since June" get for his more-than-generous offer to allow a lowly account manager the privilege of giving him a blow job? Rudeness and rejection, that's what.

Well Tom's not the kind of guy who's used to rejection. At least not from ladies with a "second chin," whose "eyes are too far apart." So he did the mature thing, and let her know that his feelings were hurt. Like, really hurt. And that his "mind=blown."

So, if you're not on Tinder, and occasionally worry that you're missing out on some erotic cyber scene populated by hot guys and gals, you might be. But it's also full of guys like Tom the finance guy.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

Sources: Jezebel | imgur | Cooper Fleishman