Pick your poison. (via)
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The bad news is that you are going to die. The good news, at least according to these maps put together by Slate, is that you're probably not going to die of typhoid, syphilis, or disco fever. That's because there's a very, very good chance you'll die of some form of heart disease or cancer. Those two diseases are responsible for so many deaths in the United States that death map-makers often don't include them in their stats out of fairness to other diseases. 

Heart disease and cancer are the Beatles and Stones of mortality in the United States, accounting for more deaths than the next eight causes combined. Put another way, if death, as an opponent, were the Miami Heat, heart disease and cancer would be LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. The next two leading killers, stroke and respiratory disease, would be Chris Bosh and Ray Allen in this scenario, in that they may not put up the same numbers, but are still a significant threat. Accidents would be Chris "Birdman" Anderson, who won't light up a stat sheet, but can catch you off guard and kill you on any given night.

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Sources: Slate