Either "getting in bed with my girlfriend" is a really delicate euphemism for "banging her furiously from behind while I was in Intro to Philosophy," or this student is really jumping to conclusions here. Maybe the RA just wanted to make sure the bedframe was up to code, or perhaps he wanted to check out the thread count. Then again, if this guy's girlfriend really did cheat on him with college's most despised on-campus authority figure, he should probably quit wasting time writing passive-aggressive messages to people and focus more on slitting his wrists.

Sources: Passive-Aggressive Notes