Usually when crazy stuff goes down in the supermarket, you have to get real still and pretend you're shopping while you try to figure out what is going on.

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Today, thanks to a forum asking Reddit users to share their craziest supermarket stories, everyone gets to hear about what really happened in the produce section, without fear that you'll be called to the witness stand. So sit back, relax, and read 15 of the most truly messed up tales with the knowledge that they've already cleaned everything up on aisle one.

1. PhoneAccountMan will never be able to catch the chicken zombie.

I'm a cashier, and this guy walks up to my counter with a full roast chicken. I glance at him and continue checking out the person in front of me. When I look back, he's gone. My manager comes sprinting up the aisle, picks up the chicken, shakes the container angrily and yells, "I KNEW IT, HE DID IT AGAIN."

I pull the container over and the guy had just taken a single bite out of the top of the chicken and left it. I have no idea how many times he's done it but apparently enough for my manager to recognize him.

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