5. Paula Deen, and apparently anyone who has to work for her. Mere weeks after announcing — and then profiting greatly from — her diabetes, TV's most obnoxious Southerner since Jeff Foxworthy is in the news again as the target of a lawsuit from a disgruntled former employee of her Georgia restaurant. Deen's brother Bubba is accused of watching porn on the job, though in his defense it was just a slow-motion shot of gravy dripping over a deep-fried turkey leg.
4. Whatever is left of Eddie Murphy at this point. Murphy's latest comedy-in-quotation-marks A Thousand Words failed in a thousand ways over the weekend, bombing at the box office and earning an impressive-but-not-in-a-good-way 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. We'd love to think of this as Murphy's karmic punishment for forcing us to endure another year of Billy Crystal hosting the Oscars, but then we'd be pretending there was ever a chance this movie wasn't terrible.