5. Demi Moore ruined whip-Its for 14-year-olds everywhere. It's always hard to find out a Brat Packer has fallen on hard times (see: Judd Nelson's face), but after several years riding high as the world's premiere celebrity cougar, Demi was hospitalized for getting high on the world's most immature drug: Whip-its! Now frightened parents might be emptying their fridges of Cool Whip canisters leaving their teenage kids nothing to do but huff paint. Will she ever stop chasing youth?
4. Someone was mean to Barack Obama. It hurt to see it. And right after he sang to us for the first time too. Sounds like it's been smoothed over, though. Seeing as the finger-pointing instigator was Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, she was probably just pissed when Obama got off his plane without presenting proof of citizenship or something.