So, yeah. This is happening: in solidarity with his looniest constituents, Governor Greg Abbot ordered the Texas State Guard to 'monitor' the United States military...possibly for signs they're setting up concentration camps in Walmarts.


Texas governor Greg Abbot, a man who fears the United States of America.

Advertising

I don't know much about Gov. Greg Abbot's achievements as governor so far, except for this one: he makes people yearn for the sane and stable days of Rick Perry publicly contemplating secession (before running for President). To say that his voter base is somewhat right-leaning would be an understatement, a fact highlighted by this week's bizarre memo: "I am directing the Texas State Guard to monitor Operation Jade Helm 15...to ensure that Texans' safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed." This follows a number of town-hall demonstrations of, uh, very concerned people who are convinced Jade Helm is not what it claims.

To be fair, a spokesperson for the Governor denied he's pandering to ultra-right paranoids, saying, "He's addressing concerns expressed by Texas citizens that are looking for more information about the factors of the operation and have expressed safety concerns about property rights and civil liberties." Which raises the question: why didn't he just reassure citizens that they were wrong?

What is Jade Helm, according to our overlords?


A map of Operation Jade Helm, which (as someone who studied the Cold War) seems exactly like the kind of huge exercises we used to do to prepare for a large war overseas.

Advertising