Aren't you supposed to bang hot slampieces? Or is bang and slam too redundant?

"Jezebel got ahold of your email" should be among the most terrifying sentences a fraternity guy can hear, if they knew what Jezebel was. This brodybrobrobro thought he was just writing your standard my-father-let-me-have-several-million-dollars-because-I-can't-get-a-job-so-now-I'm-starting-a-hedge-fund email. Before you think his father is reckless though, keep in mind that in his opening paragraph, he makes it clear that he and his father consider it Obama's fault that every interviewer this guy met vomited in his face:

We all know how Obama choked the banks into record profits. You are unemployable.

Anyone who has been on a fraternity listserve should know one thing: other people read your listserve. How does this happen? One of two ways: someone shows their buddies because they think you wrote something hilarious, or two: someone shows a girl who wants to know just how horrible fraternities are (in the hopes that said girl will see you as a chivalrous traitor, and then become your slampiece). It's pretty obvious someone was trying to get into Jezebel's pants, because she then forwarded it to her sorority: the Internet. 

That internship pays really well. Is slampiece pulling like Pogs? I could try.


Is it possible to sue for pre-emptive sexual harassment? Check out the full email and background details at Jezebel (they know who he is).