Your life: It kind of sucks, right?
I mean, sure, there are good parts — but when it's time to put your experience, skills, and personality on a resume, you suddenly realize that the only thing that makes you a better job applicant than a potato is that you have a Twitter account. And then you realize that there's a potato on Twitter too, and it has more followers than you ever will.
If you need help spinning your poop-can life into something that actually appeals to employers, take a look at the suggestions below, categorized by the different crappy sections of your depressing existence.
Crappy Computer Skills
"By losing all of my data, my computer taught me to live in the now." (via Thinkstock)
I can't stop trolling Reddit.
Resume version: Online community engagement specialist.
I saw a spreadsheet once. It was of my budget, and it made me cry. A lot.
Resume version: Excel expert.
I don't know how to use a Mac because I have never been able to afford a Mac.
Resume version: PC specialist.
I can't stop leaving angry comments on teenagers' game play-through videos on YouTube because deep down I'm afraid that I'll never be as good at anything as they are at League of Legends.
Resume version: Have my finger on the pulse of youth culture.
Crappy Job Experience
"I learned a lot about myself at that job, like how willing I am to cry publicly."
Tax company sign spinner/lady liberty.
Resume version: Patriotic marketing expert.