Weddings are full of magical moments like getting to drink free booze, and traumatizing ones, like having to wait to drink free booze. Let's get this party started... But first some public speaking! (Do eye rolls burn calories?)
1. The Girl Who Makes It All About Her
It's not her special day, or is it? Did you know if she had been even remotely interested in the groom, or hadn't introduced the couple, or didn't just have her own more glamorous wedding a month ago, none of us would be gathered here today? This narcissist is the reason someone had to make a rule that other people can't wear white at a wedding. She's barely able to conceal her rage at the Bride for upstaging her.
"Everyone's all, 'Christy, how do you manage to look so beautiful after all the work you've put into this wedding?' It's easy for me to be selfless. I just I want her day, to be the best day of my life."
2. The "Comedian"
To the delight of Aunts everywhere, the comedian is a popular choice for toast master. Make no mistake, he's been studying YouTube clips, memorizing movie quotes, and prepping for this moment since before the proposal. The comedian can usually be spotted pre-toast having a secret pow-wow with the DJ and/or holding an oversized bag of some sort. "Oh boy, props," said no one ever.
*Puts on backwards cap and beatboxes*
"Yo my name is Trevor, and I'm here today, My boy Nate's getting married, and you said, 'No way!' His girl is Sarah, and she pretty as heck, they invited all of us, to give 'em cash or a check!"