By the way, we forgot to mention he can see you through the computer screen.

Um, please no. There is a clown, or multiple clowns, appearing all over the English town of Northampton without warning and scaring the bejeezus out of people who have cameraphones that allow the rest of us to share in their fear, like the person who took the photo above. This is happening enough that there is a hashtag, #northamptonclown, which means that this is Officially A Thing.

Great. It's nocturnal, too. Walking around while you sleep. Just f***ing fantastic.

It also has a Facebook page:

Oh, hi there! Why don't you smell my flower? I promise it doesn't squirt children's tears.

Authorities are claiming there is more than one clown, possibly teenagers. Which doesn't make this less scary:

Oh, god, a TEENAGE CLOWN? Just kill me now and make it short and merciful.

September is a good time to complain about stores selling Halloween decorations already, but rarely does sheer terror arrive so early in the season. Stay tuned (somewhere else) for more updates.


(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: @Tyrannosoria | @DanielOwens | The Atlantic Wire | Northampton Herald and Post | @jogo78