As an American, it's your right to be furious, even about sports you normally make fun of.

Americans may not like soccer, but we agree it should be pure. After all, soccer is the sport of childhood. The sport of rec leagues. Something so pure, Americans refuse to even remember it exists after they graduate from high school, or if they're really good, after they graduate from college. But unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard that one of the biggest corruption scandals professional sports has ever seen has just been uncovered in FIFA. FIFA is professional soccer's world governing body. (FILA, in case you were confused, is an also-run casual sportswear brand that was briefly popular in the 90s.) Even here in the part of the world that thinks football is a different sport, there have been rumblings that this was coming—like when the guy challenging Sepp Blatter for FIFA's presidency resigned and called the organization a dictatorship.


Beyond that, you really should just let Jon explain. He's got more practice at this sort of thing.