After all, why are any of us really here, y'know?

Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch does not enjoy talking to reporters. We could get into a whole debate about whether Mr. Lynch is paid to play football or whether he is paid to be "an NFL player" who represents the Seattle Seahawks on and off the field to the merchandise-purchasing public, BUT THE FACT REMAINS: Marshawn Lynch does not like talking to reporters. He will do it, however, to avoid getting fined. This is a real fear for Mr. Lynch, as he has already been fined to the tune of $100,000 for his recalcitrance, and was threatened with a $500,000 fine if he skipped the pre--Super Bowl "Media Day" like he did last year. Why the change of heart? He answered that 29 times:

As much as it must suck to be the reporter hoping to finally get the interview revealing Lynch's sensitive interior emotional life (or trying to get a generic quote about how the Seahawks just need to keep up their energy and practice hard), many, many fans agree that watching Lynch stonewall reporters is more exciting defensive action than most of what we see in the ten minutes of actual play that constitute a football game. A lot of the reporters, however, were rather cranky.


Hey NFL merchandisers, if you want to make a Marshawn Lynch plush doll that only says "I'm just here so I don't get fined" when you pull the string, I'd consider buying my first piece of licensed schwag since grade school.

Sources: Jake O'Donnell | FTW | TMZ