Long before other white girls said "I can't even," these two simply wouldn't even.

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Tara and Raven Acidbath (yes, Tara and Raven Acidbath) have some opinions about 2009, and those opinions just resurfaced today for 2014 to enjoy. Turns out, 2009 sucked. So did (and do) preps, haters, and jocks. We're with you so far, T&R! Fortunately, MCR (My Chemical Romance) was there to save the day, and also a new Hot Topic at the mall. Of course, who knows why all these idiots are celebrating a "new year," anyway. It's just a new opportunity TO DIE, right?

What's the over/under on this being a really well-done satire piece? Right now, I think the Acidbaths are totally legitimate, but at the same time, their video reaches such perfect levels of teenage awkwardness and teenage arrogance that it can only be described as poetry. I mean, look at the video's description:


Ten bucks says they already hate the Hot Topic at the mall now b/c it "sold out."

These are some Christopher Guest-level character performances here. Or it's real. It's probably real, and unlike all the other goth stuff Tara and Raven mentioned, that thought is terrifying. I hope they had a better 2010 to 2014 when it came to dealing with haters—those YouTube trolls suck. I can, however, say with confidence that these two have a very nice MySpace page. You can check out more of their videos on YouTube, although it might just be quicker to watch old SNL "Goth Talk" sketches.

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Sources: xXblo0dyxkissxX | Digg