Today's Dr. Textiquette addresses the destructive and humiliating power of the text message. When used incorrectly, the text message can turn an unfortunate but common occurrence, like a privately owned restaurant closing its doors, into the lead story on a local nightly newscast.

"But this is America!" you shout. "Small businesses not owned by massive homogenous chains close every day! That's how the system works. How do I get my failing business on the nightly news and publicly shame myself in the process?"

Simple. When it's time to close your doors, just do like the owner of Barducci's Italian Bistro in Winter Park, Fla did. Fire everyone on your staff via text message.

He could have at least included a frowny face emoticon. (Screencap via WFTV Channel 9)

According to Florida's WFTV news, Barducci's owner Gregory Kennedy was forced to close the restaurant without any warning to the staff. This is something that typically would merit some local gossip, not a news report. But Kennedy took the extra step to ensure his failed business and even bigger failed attempt at human communication would make the news: he turned his restaurant closing into a story about the callousness of using modern technology to inform people they were out of a job.