It's much easier than writing, "Dear waiter, if I seemed slightly awkward during my time in your station, it's because I wish people were numbers. Numbers don't look at me funny when I laugh at the wrong part of the joke or when I say something awkward. Numbers are my best friends." Little-known fact: Pi was discovered by an ancient mathematician who was trying to figure out the tip for a huge brunch party, with three of his friends saying, "Um, we didn't have any mimosas so shouldn't we owe a little less?"

Sources: Redditor mysteryguitarm