Thrust that shell.
Finally, a turtle has reclaimed the reptilian dance move known as twerking. The provocative hip thrust has been appropriated by humans, but most agree it looks ridiculous done by someone without a shell. The twerk is wrapped up in turtle culture, and for a human to do it—to pretend that we live in a post-speciesism society—is simply insulting.
Now all this turtle needs to do is figure out how to monetize his twerking habit, so he can quit his day job.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)