Twilight Sparkle, meet your big brother, Labyrinth Codpiece.
Not everyone is cut out to be parents, but only a few have the right stuff to be among the worst of all time. It should be no surprise that that list includes fans of a series where a dead guy impregnates a living girl with a hyperbaby who kills her mom upon arrival and instantly becomes soulmates with a werewolf (did we just spoil stuff? boo friggin hoo). As if that wasn't bad enough, these miserable breeders think the best part of the movie is when the 120-Year-Old Virgin lights up like a disco ball in the sun because his skin is made of diamonds (because it's so lame to give vampires any kind of weakness when they could just be hot). Sorry kid. If you need help emancipating yourself, contact our legal team.
*Editor's note - Apparently these terrible parents probably named their kid after My Little Pony, and not Twilight. We know that Bronies are literally the most insane people on the Internet, so we're not going to change the title of this post because it's really fun to see them spew rainbow-colored rage at our screens.