Upworthy is the worst site on the Internet, that's been resolved. Their mission statement is smug, backpatting, faux-activist horseshit. Their headlines are the purest, crack-cocaine of clickbait. And when you do click, the content they've dredged up from YouTube never, ever pays off. To keep you from experiencing that disappointed, "Ew, I just clicked on an Upworthy link" feeling, we clicked on five of the links your Facebook friends will be gullibly sharing this week so you don't have to. Spoilers for each headline below.

Spoiler: It's a video of a little girl giving a speech. She's one of those precocious Dakota Fanning type girls who makes you feel like your public school wasn't that good. The headline makes it sound like you'll see a little girl ask a stodgy old Senator a question that completely leaves him "pwned" and everyone applauds because from the mouths of babes and whatnot. Nope! There's not even a Senator in the video. A little girl gives a speech about voting. That's it.

Sources: All screencaps taken from Upworthy dot com.