Kids say the darndest things when their parents are shoving a camera in their face and telling them what to say. (via YouTube)

Is vomitrocious a word? Spell check keeps putting a wavy red line under it but I'm pretty sure it's the right word for this. 

This video promises to make a rap song in 30 seconds (it's over a minute, but let's let that slide), which could possibly be cool, even with a coached child as the star, but the whole thing swirls down the cuteness toilet the second the kid starts rapping about stealing cookies and telling people to "deal with it." 

Obviously his parent has pimped him into saying self-aware statements that are mature beyond his years. This is a comedic device that has never been funny and yet is dragged out over and over again. You know what I'm talking about, the most flagrant use right now of the tiny-child-says-sassy-things-device is the cringe-inducing adopted daughter character Lily Pritchett on an otherwise funny Modern Family. That kid blows more lines than a 13-year-old Drew Barrymore.

To be clear, I don't blame the child. He obviously has some musical talent, he's definitely the one playing the keyboard, and he sounds great for being a little kid. Kid, wherever you are, this is not your fault. You have a parent who is desperate for validation and is using you to fill a void.