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5. Dustin Hoffman cried while relating how his role in Tootsie helped him better understand women. When Dustin Hoffman was preparing for the movie Tootsie, he had make-up artists make him the most beautiful woman he could be—and realized that he wasn't a very pretty lady. This in turn made him realize he had always judged women by how they looked and probably missed out on talking to a lot of women who were interesting on the inside. And then everyone on your Facebook feed was like, "This." And it was a little stupid because all he's really saying is "don't judge people by their appearances," which isn't exactly revolutionary, but I guess it IS Dustin Hoffman and he IS crying and, sigh, fine.
4. Justin Bieber grossed out a bunch of people by being himself and also touching the Stanley Cup. Not sure who thought it was a great idea to pair a symbol of Canada's most violent sport with Canada's most annoying pop star, but hockey fans were not impressed. In fact, they were furious. And while angry hockey fans are only slightly more dangerous and deranged than regular hockey fans, it still makes me nervous. Go back to peeing in kitchens, Bieber. Enjoy your zenith.