Everyone has been on a first date that was going so badly they've fantasized about climbing out of a bathroom window or faking a family emergency to escape it. But for one woman, her date was going so poorly that she felt the need to get the police involved. New York-based author Alexander Chee tweeted this snippet he came across in the Amherst police blotter, and he probably could not write a story this bizarre if he tried (actually, he wrote The Queen of the Night, so he definitely could).

According to the blotter, a man and woman who met over WeChat (a messaging app) decided to meet up in real life for a hiking date in Amherst, Massachusetts. Things must not have been going too well, because the woman decided she wanted out. Immediately. So immediately that instead of pretending that she forgot about a doctor's appointment or that she left her stove on (or, you know, just being honest about her feelings) she feigned an illness and called the cops. After law enforcement arrived to help the woman, they eventually got her to admit that she was not ill at all, but just couldn't muster up the courage to tell her date that she wanted to end the hike early. Wow, was the date really going that bad?