You'd be surprised how many shoppers require these instructions.
Whether you're taking a guided tour in a crafts museum or you're trying to stay awake during a screening of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, you have no right to complain about being bored soulless until you've worked retail. When you spend all day stocking shelves and waving bar codes over a scanner, you have to find those little glimmers of excitement where you can. Your options are limited to stealing the inventory, having sex with coworkers in the dark corners of the stock room, or you can covertly create extremely inappropriate product displays that announce your discontent to customers lucky enough to catch sight of them before you're discovered and fired.
What'd we say?
We choose option C... Porn.
This is how you commemorate the moment when the dreams you had for yourself as a child are officially dead.
Buy the whole set for your office Secret Santa!
Your earliest and most annoying internet memories, now priced to sell.
We can't afford either, but thanks.
But where are the warm twenty-packs of Natural Light and the plastic vomit buckets?
Now you're just preying on the vulnerable.
The universal cry of the name-tag wearing American wage-slave.