Once upon a time, Redditor Fordiman was like most new parents: nervous, terrified, likely to break into anxiety sweats over any little thing. When it first came time to leave his young son with a babysitter, Fordiman was very concerned, as his wife reminded him when she sent him an old e-mail  full of instructions he'd written for the babysitter. If you want a detailed analysis on how to deal with a child, you're in luck, because Fordiman transcribed the minutiae of his child's existence.

The parents, on the other hand, might be more difficult to handle.

Here it goes: 

In case of crying:

A useful section on skills:

Sources: h/t Scary Mommy