We asked our readers to share their stories via Facebook and email of the time their kids waited for the exact right moment to say the exact wrong thing. Our wonderful fans responded with a wealth of stories that are probably much funnier now than when their kid embarrassed them in front of everyone. Parenting is an exercise filled with questionable advice, but take it from these people: if you say anything in front of your kid that could be embarrassing if repeated, they will wait for the perfect moment to do just that.
1. Anne emailed us this story, and Anne wins, because Anne had to stop going to her favorite Panera Bread location after her son gave her the most inappropriate compliment possible.
My son was about two and had just potty trained. He and I were at Panera for lunch and he announced that he needed to use the bathroom. I, of course, immediately took him, knowing we had anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes before he was going to go, bathroom or not.
We get to the women's room and there is a line. I was hugely pregnant at the time and decided once we were in, I was going to go too. My son held it until it was our turn, and we made our way into the stall. He did his business and then I went. There was a huge line of people behind us. Just as I sat down and started going, my two year old announced very loudly, "Mom, you have a nice vagina!"
The bathroom was tiled and EVERYTHING echoed. The bathroom went silent and then all the people waiting started laughing hysterically. I was absolutely mortified. I didn't want to leave the stall, but couldn't stay in there because of the line behind us.
I finished up and exited the stall, red faced, to people hysterically laughing. We left the bathroom without washing our hands and didn't even finish our lunch. We went straight to the car and straight home. I haven't been back to that Panera since and it's been 3 years.