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If bread had a cell phone during Passover, I'd sext it

As a half-Jewish Type A personality, I prefer searching for the afikomen and Easter eggs at the same time

I'd be more into Passover if we didn't have to eat Passover food

Your advancing senility is sure to add an exciting new dimension to the afikomen search

Passover is just like Easter but without the bunny, bonnets, colored eggs or New Testament

This is the day of Passover where I'd pretty much stab someone for a real sandwich

Thanks for your Seder invitation but I don't even observe my own religion's rituals

I think you may be confusing Passover with the South Beach Diet

This night is different from all other nights because we actually acknowledge we're Jewish

Apparently it's okay to massacre all firstborn children as long as it doesn't include ours

Let's freak out gentiles with our incredibly weird and ominous Passover customs

Sorry your side of the family won't merit my attendance at the first-night Seder

I'm fairly certain that gefilte fish is what makes people afraid of Jews

Let's commemorate our people's freedom from 210 years of slavery by rushing through a 30-minute Seder

Please help me understand how boils and locusts are plagues but bread that tastes like cardboard isn't

Sorry you're no longer young enough to read the Four Questions

I'd rather be enslaved to a sadistic Egyptian Pharaoh than temporarily give up anything leavened

Have a good whatever Jewish holiday it is

I'm Jewish today

Have a good whatever Jewish holiday it is

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