My favorite thing about summer is having a valid excuse for my excessive sweating.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Let's stay on lunch break until our boss sends out a search party.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
I can't think of anyone I'd rather be in a dysfunctional relationship with.
My entire goal in life is to show my friends who are not single how awesome being single is.
Congratulations on not being remotely young enough to be picked for the Hunger Games.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
![[UPDATED] 31 unintentionally offensive test answers from young children.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e1dc1c5aa37f_m4e1de248b5159.jpg)