• refine by:
sort-by: Most Popular
  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for wearing that outfit I like.

    Thanks for wearing that outfit I like.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for trying to understand what it is I do.

    Thanks for trying to understand what it is I do.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for trying to fix me up with other companionless losers.

    Thanks for trying to fix me up with other companionless losers.

  • Get Well Get Well

    Get well enough to return to picking up my slack at work soon.

    Get well enough to return to picking up my slack at work soon.

  • Get Well Get Well

    I hope you feel better soon so you can come back to work and immediately feel worse.

    I hope you feel better soon so you can come back to work and immediately feel worse.

  • Get Well Get Well

    I need a health care plan that covers the depression and anxiety caused by trying to understand my health care plan.

    I need a health care plan that covers the depression and anxiety caused by trying to understand my health care plan.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    I have no doubt you'll find and not appreciate love again soon.

    I have no doubt you'll find and not appreciate love again soon.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.

    I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.

  • Apology Apology

    Sorry about that card I sent you from someecards.com.

    Sorry about that card I sent you from someecards.com.

  • Get Well Get Well

    Sorry your sick day is due to actual sickness.

    Sorry your sick day is due to actual sickness.

  • Get Well Get Well

    You've temporarily upstaged the office pregnancies.

    You've temporarily upstaged the office pregnancies.

  • Get Well Get Well

    I don't mind if you get me sick.

    I don't mind if you get me sick.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'm looking forward to trying not to try to have sex with you.

    I'm looking forward to trying not to try to have sex with you.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    The possibility of healthcare reform makes me feel less guilty for giving you an STD.

    The possibility of healthcare reform makes me feel less guilty for giving you an STD.

  • Breakup Breakup

    My definition of insanity is doing you over and over again and expecting to have an orgasm.

    My definition of insanity is doing you over and over again and expecting to have an orgasm.

  • Confession Confession

    The reason I wasn't angry when you confused me with someone else is because she's skinnier than me.

    The reason I wasn't angry when you confused me with someone else is because she's skinnier than me.

  • Get Well Get Well

    While I find your religion hateful, closed-minded and utterly ridiculous, you are still encouraged to pray for my recovery.

    While I find your religion hateful, closed-minded and utterly ridiculous, you are still encouraged to pray for my recovery.

  • Apology Apology

    I'm sorry there isn't a relationship status on Facebook that accurately describes our situation.

    I'm sorry there isn't a relationship status on Facebook that accurately describes our situation.

  • Workplace Workplace

    The fact that you're laid off makes it difficult to complain to you about how Lancome discontinued my favorite gel cleanser.

    The fact that you're laid off makes it difficult to complain to you about how Lancome discontinued my favorite gel cleanser.

  • April Fool's Day April Fool's Day

    I couldn't think of any clever pranks this year, so I sent your whole family a tasteful photo of my balls.

    I couldn't think of any clever pranks this year, so I sent your whole family a tasteful photo of my balls.

DON'T MISS THIS