Happy Presidents Day to someone who can't name more than five presidents
This is the perfect day to try and make sense of Obama's creepy Lincoln fetish
This Presidents Day, let's reflect on their momentous achievements and astonishing, ongoing fuckups
Let's spend Presidents Day debating Lincoln's fondness for dudes
This Presidents Day, let's remember that not all of them were douchebags
We should show our patriotism by shopping for discounted furniture and electronics
I'm going to spend the day finally memorizing which presidents appear on which currency
Considering Lincoln's epic accomplishments, I'm glad he didn't go through with offing himself
On this day, let's honor only a few of our nation's presidents
On this day, let's honor only a few of our nation's presidents
Considering Lincoln's epic accomplishments, I'm glad he didn't go through with offing himself
I'm going to spend the day finally memorizing which presidents appear on which currency
We should show our patriotism by shopping for discounted furniture and electronics
This Presidents Day, let's remember that not all of them were douchebags
