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    I long for the days when groundbreaking running shoes were banned from the Olympics rather than runners.

    I long for the days when groundbreaking running shoes were banned from the Olympics rather than runners

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    I was like Pele at age 17 except instead of winning a World Cup I was cut from my high school soccer team.

    I was like Pele at age 17 except instead of winning a World Cup I was cut from my high school soccer team

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    Sorry Usain Bolt can run 100 meters in less time than it takes you to get from the living room to the bathroom.

    Sorry Usain Bolt can run 100 meters in less time than it takes you to get from the living room to the bathroom

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    It'd be easier to give you tips on your golf game if your golf clothing didn't scald my eyeballs.

    It'd be easier to give you tips on your golf game if your golf clothing didn't scald my eyeballs

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    I thought I had a shoe obsession until I heard you slept seven hours on concrete for limited edition sneakers.

    I thought I had a shoe obsession until I heard you slept seven hours on concrete for limited edition sneakers

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