I'd like to wish you a happy and healthy new year by making a sound terrifying enough to give you a heart attack
Here's to another year of lunatics focusing their conspiracy theories on the Obama administration instead of on the Jews
Celebrating the Jewish New Year is like celebrating the regular New Year except we blow into a ram's horn and have the exact opposite of fun
I'd have a deeper understanding of Rosh Hashanah if even one of my Jewish friends understood what it was
Happy Holiday from a total goy
The key to weathering this rough economic climate could be the connections we make at synagogue during the High Holidays
Sorry you have to use personal days for your religion's most sacred holidays
I'm Jewish today
Have a good whatever Jewish holiday it is
Congratulations to the Yankees on winning as many championships this decade as the Red Sox
Sorry Jimmy Rollins' prediction was off by a game and a team
This is the perfect day to wear your brand new Yankees hat
Thanks for doing what I'm way too big of a pussy to do
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Have a good whatever Jewish holiday it is
I'm Jewish today
Sorry you have to use personal days for your religion's most sacred holidays
The key to weathering this rough economic climate could be the connections we make at synagogue during the High Holidays
Happy Holiday from a total goy