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  • Super Bowl.. Super Bowl..

    You're invited to have your dietary restrictions completely ignored at my Super Bowl party.

    You're invited to have your dietary restrictions completely ignored at my Super Bowl party.

  • Syfy Defiance Syfy Defiance

    Now that the Mayans have been proven wrong I'm looking forward to destroying myself with meat, booze, and sloth.

    Now that the Mayans have been proven wrong I'm looking forward to destroying myself with meat, booze, and sloth.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    I'd appreciate it if you could bring meat, beer, condiments, paper goods, and all the guests to a BBQ I'm throwing.

    I'd appreciate it if you could bring meat, beer, condiments, paper goods, and all the guests to a BBQ I'm throwing.

  • Parental.. Parental..

    I hope your gluten-free vegan diet helps you live as long as your grandparents have on a diet of red meat, cigarettes, and booze.

    I hope your gluten-free vegan diet helps you live as long as your grandparents have on a diet of red meat, cigarettes, and booze.

  • Flirting Flirting

    Yours is the only meat I’ll ever put in my body.

    Yours is the only meat I’ll ever put in my body.

  • Apology Apology

    Sorry you're basing your diet entirely on what people too dumb to invent the wheel ate.

    Sorry you're basing your diet entirely on what people too dumb to invent the wheel ate.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I hope reports of Mad Cow disease can make vegans happy in the way actual food never will.

    I hope reports of Mad Cow disease can make vegans happy in the way actual food never will.

  • Reminders Reminders

    Move your meat, lose your fiancee.

    Move your meat, lose your fiancee.

  • Pork Be inspired Pork Be inspired

    My ancestors would be proud of the way I hunt for meat in the supermarket.

    My ancestors would be proud of the way I hunt for meat in the supermarket.

  • Pork Be inspired Pork Be inspired

    I'm not sure I can date someone who doesn't love bacon.

    I'm not sure I can date someone who doesn't love bacon.

  • Pork Be inspired Pork Be inspired

    I love you like cavemen loved meat.

    I love you like cavemen loved meat.

  • Pork Be inspired Pork Be inspired

    Thank you for never asking me to eat just salad.

    Thank you for never asking me to eat just salad.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I would even do the thing Meat Loaf wouldn't do for love for you.

    I would even do the thing Meat Loaf wouldn't do for love for you.

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