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  • Birthday Birthday

    Happy Anniversary of Your 29th Birthday.

    Happy Anniversary of Your 29th Birthday.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Happy anniversary to a husband who still looks at me the way he looks at other women.

    Happy anniversary to a husband who still looks at me the way he looks at other women.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Happy Anniversary to someone who was my least deplorable marriage option.

    Happy Anniversary to someone who was my least deplorable marriage option.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Let's celebrate the anniversary of our still not yet official relationship.

    Let's celebrate the anniversary of our still not yet official relationship.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Happy anniversary to a great couple who are somehow related to me.

    Happy anniversary to a great couple who are somehow related to me.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Happy Anniversary to a couple whose age difference is much less creepy now.

    Happy Anniversary to a couple whose age difference is much less creepy now.

  • Drinking Drinking

    Congratulations on your 35th minute anniversary of being clean and sober.

    Congratulations on your 35th minute anniversary of being clean and sober.

  • Birthday Birthday

    I find it strange that we celebrate you on the anniversary of a day when your mom did all of the work.

    I find it strange that we celebrate you on the anniversary of a day when your mom did all of the work.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.

    Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Happy anniversary from someone who knows more about the inner workings of your marriage than any third party should.

    Happy anniversary from someone who knows more about the inner workings of your marriage than any third party should.

  • Congratulations Congratulations

    Congratulations on the anniversary of your long-term engagement.

    Congratulations on the anniversary of your long-term engagement.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Let's celebrate the anniversary of Bin Laden's death until we look worse than Bin Laden does right now.

    Let's celebrate the anniversary of Bin Laden's death until we look worse than Bin Laden does right now.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Let's celebrate our anniversary by reviewing which vows we still haven't broken.

    Let's celebrate our anniversary by reviewing which vows we still haven't broken.

  • Congratulations Congratulations

    Congratulations on the anniversary of your horrific alcoholic bottom.

    Congratulations on the anniversary of your horrific alcoholic bottom.

  • Baby Baby

    Happy anniversary of the day you grotesquely expelled another human being from your body.

    Happy anniversary of the day you grotesquely expelled another human being from your body.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    Happy anniversary to you and your beard.

    Happy anniversary to you and your beard.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    Congratulations on being my first repeat Valentine.

    Congratulations on being my first repeat Valentine.

  • Anniversary Anniversary

    On our anniversary let's celebrate being one year closer to death do us part.

    On our anniversary let's celebrate being one year closer to death do us part.

  • Birthday Birthday

    Today's the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother's uterus.

    Today's the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother's uterus.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Happy birthday to someone who has never grown out of getting messy on their big day.

    Happy birthday to someone who has never grown out of getting messy on their big day.

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