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  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Let's celebrate the holidays by getting matching wine stains.

    Let's celebrate the holidays by getting matching wine stains.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Sorry holiday guests make your pets nervous enough to forget that they're housebroken.

    Sorry holiday guests make your pets nervous enough to forget that they're housebroken.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Just remember a first date is also your first opportunity to mess up a relationship forever.

    Just remember a first date is also your first opportunity to mess up a relationship forever.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    If only my roommates were considerate enough to stain the couch with their own wine.

    If only my roommates were considerate enough to stain the couch with their own wine.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    I think we're ready to get a pet for you to clean up after.

    I think we're ready to get a pet for you to clean up after.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Always remember to clean your clothes and your tagged pics before a job interview.

    Always remember to clean your clothes and your tagged pics before a job interview.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    May your pet's mess never be mistaken for your own.

    May your pet's mess never be mistaken for your own.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    All I want in life is a man with clean underwear and a dirty mind.

    All I want in life is a man with clean underwear and a dirty mind.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    I love my baby, but just wish it wouldn't pee, poop, or puke until it moved out of the house.

    I love my baby, but just wish it wouldn't pee, poop, or puke until it moved out of the house.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    I know you'll be the kind of dad who'll change our baby's diapers, and the kind of husband who'll someday change mine.

    I know you'll be the kind of dad who'll change our baby's diapers, and the kind of husband who'll someday change mine.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    All I want from a Vegas trip is a clean getaway and somewhat dirty memories.

    All I want from a Vegas trip is a clean getaway and somewhat dirty memories.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Vegas is a great excuse to be as immature and messy as our children.

    Vegas is a great excuse to be as immature and messy as our children.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Vegas trips make me thankful for bleach.

    Vegas trips make me thankful for bleach.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    This Father's Day may the grass stains on your pants be from a great round of golf, and not from a long day of yard work.

    This Father's Day may the grass stains on your pants be from a great round of golf, and not from a long day of yard work.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    I'd like my family to cook me a Mother's Day meal that doesn't require me to spend the rest of Mother's Day cleaning the kitchen.

    I'd like my family to cook me a Mother's Day meal that doesn't require me to spend the rest of Mother's Day cleaning the kitchen.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    I'd like to invite you over for the holidays and apologize in advance for my grandfather's dirty jokes.

    I'd like to invite you over for the holidays and apologize in advance for my grandfather's dirty jokes.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Congratulations on your new little mess maker.

    Congratulations on your new little mess maker.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones.

    Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones.

  • Clorox Bleach.. Clorox Bleach..

    Sorry your holiday party was ruined by a guest who needed a bib more than your baby.

    Sorry your holiday party was ruined by a guest who needed a bib more than your baby.

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