• refine by:
sort-by: Most Popular | Newest
  • Breakup Breakup

    I hope my breakup email was mean enough that you abandon the idea of fucking me ever again, but not so cruel that you have a heroin relapse.

    I hope my breakup email was mean enough that you abandon the idea of fucking me ever again, but not so cruel that you have a heroin relapse.

  • Breakup Breakup

    This breakup is better than Weight Watchers.

    This breakup is better than Weight Watchers.

  • Breakup Breakup

    Your painful breakup has made me feel less alone.

    Your painful breakup has made me feel less alone.

  • Missing You Missing You

    I just wanted you to know that I noticed you were gone.

    I just wanted you to know that I noticed you were gone.

  • Breakup Breakup

    August seems like a good time to tell you this was a summer fling.

    August seems like a good time to tell you this was a summer fling.

  • Confession Confession

    It doesn't hurt when I'm not liked by someone because I've not liked me a lot longer.

    It doesn't hurt when I'm not liked by someone because I've not liked me a lot longer.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    It takes more than one date to truly know if someone is the right person for you to settle for.

    It takes more than one date to truly know if someone is the right person for you to settle for.

  • Friendship Friendship

    Please tell me what I did that made you stop talking to me so I can keep doing it.

    Please tell me what I did that made you stop talking to me so I can keep doing it.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I hope our relationship lasts longer than George Clooney's next five.

    I hope our relationship lasts longer than George Clooney's next five.

  • Breakup Breakup

    If you're tired of discussing my nightmarish relationship, I'd love the opportunity to begin discussing my nightmarish breakup.

    If you're tired of discussing my nightmarish relationship, I'd love the opportunity to begin discussing my nightmarish breakup.

  • Viva Vantage.. Viva Vantage..

    May your breakup be less messy than your relationship.

    May your breakup be less messy than your relationship.

  • Divorce Divorce

    Sorry the relationship everyone thought was the worst decision of your life has ended.

    Sorry the relationship everyone thought was the worst decision of your life has ended.

  • Breakup Breakup

    Sorry I said you can do so much better before your breakup was finalized.

    Sorry I said you can do so much better before your breakup was finalized.

  • Missing You Missing You

    It's hard to miss you when you post a selfie everyday.

    It's hard to miss you when you post a selfie everyday.

  • Breakup Breakup

    I hope you appreciate that I took the time to dump you by telephone instead of text.

    I hope you appreciate that I took the time to dump you by telephone instead of text.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I think if we dated there'd be a great chance of staying friends after the breakup.

    I think if we dated there'd be a great chance of staying friends after the breakup.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Congratulations on making your inevitable breakup expensive and legally complicated.

    Congratulations on making your inevitable breakup expensive and legally complicated.

  • Breakup Breakup

    We haven't dated long enough for breakup sex.

    We haven't dated long enough for breakup sex.

  • Divorce Divorce

    Just wanted to make sure there's no chance of reconciliation before I tell you what an asshole your ex is.

    Just wanted to make sure there's no chance of reconciliation before I tell you what an asshole your ex is.

  • Honest.. Honest..

    Honest Autocorrects: 'We need to talk' anxiety.

    Honest Autocorrects: "We need to talk" anxiety.

DON'T MISS THIS