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  • Friendship Friendship

    If someone ever made the mistake of marrying me, you'd probably be in the bridal party.

    If someone ever made the mistake of marrying me, you'd probably be in the bridal party.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Thank you for constantly reminding us you're a low-maintenance bride in your daily wedding planning emails.

    Thank you for constantly reminding us you're a low-maintenance bride in your daily wedding planning emails.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Thanks for not saying no.

    Thanks for not saying no.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Sorry my wedding toast ruined your honeymoon.

    Sorry my wedding toast ruined your honeymoon.

  • Wedding Wedding

    It would be an honor to ruin your wedding.

    It would be an honor to ruin your wedding.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Happy Drunk Bride-To-Be With A Giant Penis On Her Head Assaulting You In A Bar Season.

    Happy Drunk Bride-To-Be With A Giant Penis On Her Head Assaulting You In A Bar Season.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Just a reminder that our wedding's coming up and you may be too fat for your suit or tux pants.

    Just a reminder that our wedding's coming up and you may be too fat for your suit or tux pants.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Sorry you're stuck in a loveless marriage.

    Sorry you're stuck in a loveless marriage.

  • Wedding Wedding

    We can't afford you catching the bouquet.

    We can't afford you catching the bouquet.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Your wedding day is an important milestone in my self-loathing as a single person.

    Your wedding day is an important milestone in my self-loathing as a single person.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Let's overpay a god-awful DJ to drunkenly push buttons on my iPod.

    Let's overpay a god-awful DJ to drunkenly push buttons on my iPod.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    Let's critique people's wedding announcements.

    Let's critique people's wedding announcements.

  • Wedding Wedding

    My paralyzing fear of giving best man speeches prevents me from being anyone's closest friend.

    My paralyzing fear of giving best man speeches prevents me from being anyone's closest friend.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Rather than get off the pot, I've decided to shit.

    Rather than get off the pot, I've decided to shit.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Your wedding gift will be our travel expenses.

    Your wedding gift will be our travel expenses.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Congratulations on officially being entitled to take half his stuff if he ever cheats on you.

    Congratulations on officially being entitled to take half his stuff if he ever cheats on you.

  • Wedding Wedding

    You almost made the cut of people we feel bad about not inviting.

    You almost made the cut of people we feel bad about not inviting.

  • Congratulations Congratulations

    Congratulations on marrying the next person you dated after me.

    Congratulations on marrying the next person you dated after me.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Let me know if your bachelorette party needs a discount-rate stripper.

    Let me know if your bachelorette party needs a discount-rate stripper.

  • Wedding Wedding

    Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again.

    Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again.

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