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  • Wedding Wedding

    May your regrettable behavior this weekend occur primarily off-camera.

    May your regrettable behavior this weekend occur primarily off-camera.

  • Birthday Birthday

    I hope news of your birthday spreads even faster than Miley Cyrus's legs when there's a camera on.

    I hope news of your birthday spreads even faster than Miley Cyrus's legs when there's a camera on.

  • Thinking Of You Thinking Of You

    I hope the fingerprint sensor on your new iPhone will keep people from stealing your valuable brunch photos.

    I hope the fingerprint sensor on your new iPhone will keep people from stealing your valuable brunch photos.

  • LG Optimus G Pro LG Optimus G Pro

    It's good there's not a law against food porn because you'd be in jail.

    It's good there's not a law against food porn because you'd be in jail.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for never making your selfie face when we're together.

    Thanks for never making your selfie face when we're together.

  • Encouragement Encouragement

    May you someday find someone to love you as much as your selfies indicate you love yourself.

    May you someday find someone to love you as much as your selfies indicate you love yourself.

  • LG Optimus G Pro LG Optimus G Pro

    Your children always look so well-behaved in the photos you post of your children being well-behaved.

    Your children always look so well-behaved in the photos you post of your children being well-behaved.

  • Confession Confession

    The only thing that could stop me from taking selfies is a photo of what I look like taking selfies.

    The only thing that could stop me from taking selfies is a photo of what I look like taking selfies.

  • Cry For Help Cry For Help

    I no longer remember what I'm supposed to do when someone other than me takes my picture.

    I no longer remember what I'm supposed to do when someone other than me takes my picture.

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