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  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Here's to Mitt Romney finding a running mate who accurately reflects the diversity of the people voting for him.

    Here's to Mitt Romney finding a running mate who accurately reflects the diversity of the people voting for him.

  • The Campaign The Campaign

    I'd rather watch a comedy about an election than the comedy that is the actual election.

    I'd rather watch a comedy about an election than the comedy that is the actual election.

  • The Campaign The Campaign

    I'm voting for the candidate who's mocked less by my favorite comedians.

    I'm voting for the candidate who's mocked less by my favorite comedians.

  • The Campaign The Campaign

    Since the real election seems to be about binders, bayonets and big yellow birds, I'm moving on to fake elections.

    Since the real election seems to be about binders, bayonets and big yellow birds, I'm moving on to fake elections.

  • Flirting Flirting

    You're so hot even Christine O'Donnell would masturbate to you.

    You're so hot even Christine O'Donnell would masturbate to you.

  • Thanksgiving Thanksgiving

    The rancor and pettiness of this election campaign has better prepared me to go home for Thanksgiving.

    The rancor and pettiness of this election campaign has better prepared me to go home for Thanksgiving.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    We've now learned that a decimated economy, a clusterfucked war, and the worst-run Republican campaign in history is all it takes for America to elect a black guy.

    We've now learned that a decimated economy, a clusterfucked war, and the worst-run Republican campaign in history is all it takes for America to elect a black guy.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I hope Obama can grow the economy by the same amount he and Romney spent on their campaigns.

    I hope Obama can grow the economy by the same amount he and Romney spent on their campaigns.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I wish the Supreme Court would set limits on your political contributions to my Facebook feed.

    I wish the Supreme Court would set limits on your political contributions to my Facebook feed.

  • U.S. U.S.

    Counting the days until an election makes it relevant again.

    Counting the days until an election makes it relevant again.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Here's to Newt Gingrich finally treating his presidential campaign as if it was a sick wife.

    Here's to Newt Gingrich finally treating his presidential campaign as if it was a sick wife.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    May the end of Herman Cain's presidential campaign mean the end of hearing about Herman Cain's sex life.

    May the end of Herman Cain's presidential campaign mean the end of hearing about Herman Cain's sex life.

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