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  • Cry For Help Cry For Help

    I don't know if going on an actual date would be as fun as continually checking my phone to see if anyone wants to date me.

    I don't know if going on an actual date would be as fun as continually checking my phone to see if anyone wants to date me.

  • Accounting.. Accounting..

    Remember to tell the IRS your actual job rather than saying you work in finance like you do to impress dates.

    Remember to tell the IRS your actual job rather than saying you work in finance like you do to impress dates.

  • Cinco De Mayo Cinco De Mayo

    Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they fall.

    Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they fall.

  • Confession Confession

    The only 100% effective form of birth control is having my social skills.

    The only 100% effective form of birth control is having my social skills.

  • Crystal Light Crystal Light

    Doing everything it takes to look good for dates drains me of the energy I need to go on dates.

    Doing everything it takes to look good for dates drains me of the energy I need to go on dates.

  • Valentine's Day Valentine's Day

    Let's schedule enough dates between now and February 13 so that it won't be awkward to go out on Valentine's Day.

    Let's schedule enough dates between now and February 13 so that it won't be awkward to go out on Valentine's Day.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I'm fairly awkward on dates.

    I'm fairly awkward on dates.

  • Father's Day Father's Day

    Happy Father's Day even though I'm still pretty sure the dates don't match up.

    Happy Father's Day even though I'm still pretty sure the dates don't match up.

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