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  • Birthday Birthday

    Hope you're such a disaster while celebrating your birthday that they name a hurricane after you.

    Hope you're such a disaster while celebrating your birthday that they name a hurricane after you.

  • Mardi Gras Mardi Gras

    May this be the year we stop seeing New Orleans as a mismanaged natural disaster and return to identifying it with half-naked, ungodly, man-made devastation.

    May this be the year we stop seeing New Orleans as a mismanaged natural disaster and return to identifying it with half-naked, ungodly, man-made devastation.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Congratulations on remaining the most destructive natural disaster at your beach house.

    Congratulations on remaining the most destructive natural disaster at your beach house.

  • Better Like.. Better Like..

    Better Like Button: Congrats on making this tragedy about you.

    Better Like Button: Congrats on making this tragedy about you.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for not telling the person I'm dating what a disaster I am.

    Thanks for not telling the person I'm dating what a disaster I am.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Just a reminder that a partly cloudy day isn't a weather-related disaster.

    Just a reminder that a partly cloudy day isn't a weather-related disaster.

  • Drinking Drinking

    I don't need the threat of an impending natural disaster to stock up on liquor.

    I don't need the threat of an impending natural disaster to stock up on liquor.

  • Workplace Workplace

    I hate my job enough to take business trips on Southwest Airlines.

    I hate my job enough to take business trips on Southwest Airlines.

  • Sports Sports

    If I want to sit through a 3 1/2-hour disaster in 3D, I'll watch a Mets game.

    If I want to sit through a 3 1/2-hour disaster in 3D, I'll watch a Mets game.

  • Friendship Friendship

    I'm glad we locked down our friendship during childhood since meeting each other today would be a disaster.

    I'm glad we locked down our friendship during childhood since meeting each other today would be a disaster.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    May you never share the same name as a horrifying natural disaster.

    May you never share the same name as a horrifying natural disaster.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Just a reminder to be careful about using email for sensitive issues like creating a man-made traffic disaster in New Jersey.

    Just a reminder to be careful about using email for sensitive issues like creating a man-made traffic disaster in New Jersey.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Sorry you live in a disaster-prone area during a disaster-prone presidential administration.

    Sorry you live in a disaster-prone area during a disaster-prone presidential administration.

  • Sports Sports

    Thank God we averted the disaster of not being able to watch football while the country plummets toward financial ruin.

    Thank God we averted the disaster of not being able to watch football while the country plummets toward financial ruin.

  • Sports Sports

    Let's thank the New York City Marathon for helping the city get back on its feet by completely shutting it down again.

    Let's thank the New York City Marathon for helping the city get back on its feet by completely shutting it down again.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Let's enjoy the gorgeous summer weather before it somehow tries to murder us.

    Let's enjoy the gorgeous summer weather before it somehow tries to murder us.

  • Seeking A Friend Seeking A Friend

    An apocalyptic disaster would be worth not having to see any more of your Facebook updates.

    An apocalyptic disaster would be worth not having to see any more of your Facebook updates.

  • College College

    May your behavior be the only natural disaster this spring break.

    May your behavior be the only natural disaster this spring break.

  • Seasonal Seasonal

    Sorry you can't use a hurricane as an excuse to not leave your home this weekend.

    Sorry you can't use a hurricane as an excuse to not leave your home this weekend.

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